he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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