so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
