My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize