i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
