Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
