I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize