you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
