i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize