Kiss
Puke
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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