well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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