Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
