why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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