I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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