Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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