There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
