sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
