I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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