How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
