She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
