Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
