I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
