I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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