I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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