I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
