It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
