i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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