I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
