He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
