you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
