where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I CAN MOONWALK!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
