after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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