If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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