White coat. Heels.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
