He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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