Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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