I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
