My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't turn off my feet"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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