nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The ass gains better be worth it
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