what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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