If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
