He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm too high and old for this...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
