i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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