a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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