And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
