ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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