I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
