she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
