He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
