Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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