I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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