No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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