so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
