I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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