You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
