Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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