please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it was like eating out sand paper
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
