I'm gonna have a badass scar
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
