All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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