I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She said her name was "party"
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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