My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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