Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
