i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
