In the future we'll all be gay
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
