didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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