cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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