PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
