All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
