What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
